Fine!

Apparently being age-less is to learn from all, especially others — at least according to the-age-Less.com, aka me. To learn from anyone regardless of their age (child, adult, or senior); regardless of ‘rank’ in any hierarchy (work, school, or familial).

Ya, so this is why I am forcibly writing this blog. Forced by my little sister; yes much younger, and lower ‘rank’ within the family…oooo, that didn’t sound very nice, but true. I was the eldest, and in a Brazilian family structure, the ‘higher-ranking’ sibling.

My sister was the one that I helped raise. The one that I would provide advice to. The one that I would try and ‘push’, and sometimes shove (with words of course), to help her get through obstacles.  The one that I needed to be, and stay strong for.

Well, hard to admit, not feeling so strong. At least not strong willed about this blog. And my sister is SHOVING me to do this. All my rebuttals, although very valid (I strongly believe), were being ‘smashed’ back at me with counter-uplifting-stern-words. Many back and forth text messages, like playing ping pong — ok, I had ping pong ball reasons (aka ‘excuses’ in her mind), but she seemed to be hitting basketballs back at me, until the last text… “Fine.”

Given that I usually make every effort to hopefully influence others to get out of their slump (including my managers, teachers, and parents, even as a 5 year old), I am skilled, if I do say so myself, at building a case. I am even better at debunking other’s reasons, or obstacles, or EXCUSES that may prevent not reaching one’s goals. I’m accustomed to being a venting board for my network, as well as providing advice, in the hopes of destroying insecurities, and building lasting confidences. But I am the absolute worst person to provide advice to when I hit a wall of insecurity or lack in will power. I usually get myself back on board, and usually pretty quickly. This has/is not the case right now, and for the last few months.

So, even before the conversation-ender ‘Fine’ was ping-ponged (felt more like a basketball) back at me, I was irritated with my own procrastinating logic. I expected her to just give up. Which, in-a-way, she did. I too just wanted to give up the topic, and keep going with what I had planned to do today, which wasn’t this entry! But I know what it’s like being a ‘get your ass in gear, and just DO IT enforcer’. So of all the arguments my sister presented, my own counter-arguments were lame — the ‘Fine” summed that up. It was obvious to me, how petulant I sounded, and obviously obvious to her — yes, yes that’s a lot of ‘obvious’ words in this sentence, and which has obviously worked (at getting me to write).

This is not to say that I don’t or hadn’t listened to my sister. I always consider and listen. The first time she tried to ‘adjust my self-defeating attitude, she was about 8 years old. I was going through a breakup, and let my family see me down. I tend to hide, or rather, crush sad emotions from myself, and even more so in front of my family and friends. This time, I couldn’t contain myself. My parents couldn’t change my mood, or outlook for the better. My sister did. I don’t recall exactly what she said, but the gist was ‘you will be fine.’ As a kid, my sister was not much of a conversationalist, she hardly said anything, except for the excessive use of one word…NO!   So this genuine statement, and consideration for relationship dynamics that she would have no knowledge of at her age, was the insight and words that I needed. Yes, I felt bad that my little sister had to see her seemingly tough sister fall down, but I bounced back immediately after this statement.

So, sister this is to you….Fine! I will be ok! Thanks muchie!

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